sad beautiful tragic
by from-sabrina
Summary: "Taking up a pocketknife she had brought along for this very moment, she carves and carves, trying to get the words etched into stone. When she's done, the sun shines down on his grave through some crack in the clouds, and Ally smiles, leaving once and for all. Austin Moon. 1996-2022. And newly carved in, Always shine bright." Oneshot, angst.


**Pairing**: Austin/Ally  
**Prompt**: Taylor's new album.  
**Notes**: Sigh; I feel like writing angst. And I know ATGL has to be updated, and I'm working on that.  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own anything you recognize and some things you don't. No copyright infringement intended.

**Copyright 2012 from-sabrina**

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_Long handwritten note deep in your pocket_  
_Words, how little they mean when you're a little too late_

Sometimes when tours and album parties and interview got too hectic, he'd write her letters. Long ones, pages and pages of emotion and longing. They never got sent, though. Too soon, he'd be called away for rehearsal or to appear on another talk show, and he'd stuff the letters into his pockets. His pants got washed, and before the cleaners put them through machines, they'd remove the letters, shake their heads confusedly, and throw them away.

_I stood right by the tracks, your face in a locket  
Good girls, hopeful they'll be and long they will wait_

She had always been the good one. Kind, fair, earnest, and honest, she had always been just a little bit too good for him.

He remembers the night when he left for his first world tour. Wide-eyed and breathless, she had run up to him just as he was about to step onto the train. She slipped him an old, worn locket. Opening it, he found a picture of them.

That was the last he saw of her.

_We had a beautiful magic love there_  
_What a sad beautiful tragic love affair_

Once upon a time, they had been in love. It was magical and beautiful, and it turned out tragically. He had been rocketed to superstardom, leaving everything he knew behind. She always had different priorities; music was great, but she wanted to do something _meaningful_ with her life. She used to think that through music, she could help everyone, but as time dragged on and his management team slowly made her obsolete, she turned to other things.

She had always said that no matter how famous they got, she'd go to college. She wanted an education, and then after she left the music scene, she wanted to get into politics. It turned out to be too ruthless, too heartless, and too harsh for her.

She'd always been fragile, after all.

_In dreams I meet you in warm conversation_  
_We both wake in lonely beds different cities_

He dreamt of her, the first few months he was away on tour. In his dreams, they were still 17- happy, young, and still in love. The nights he dreamed of her, he dreaded to wake up.

She thought of him. She definitely thought of him. But she knew reality, and she knew _him_. They weren't meant to be, that's what she told herself.

She watched videos of his first tour. He looked happy, she mused. This _was_ what he always dreamed of. Still, at night, she pondered of what could of been, and he dreamt again of her.

In the morning, they woke up in cold beds.

_And time is ticking, a sweet time erasing you_  
_And you've got your demons, and, darling, they all look like me_

First album, first tour, second album, first world tour. A couple Grammy's that stood in gleaming cases in his penthouse. An old camera lying on the fireplace mantle, reminiscent of Dez. Some cheetah print throw pillows, to remind him of Trish. And the locket _she_ gave him.

He never meant to keep it, and he never meant to decorate his penthouse like that. But his friends had always been the biggest part of him; the only part that hadn't been corrupted.

He wanted them back. He wanted them back _so so_ badly, but he was scared, _oh so_ scared, of not being accepted. So he waited for them to contact him first. He waited for months and months, after his first world tour.

Nothing.

And he couldn't blame them.

_'Cause we had a beautiful magic love there_  
_What a sad beautiful tragic love affair_

He sent people to check up on them, and he isn't ashamed to admit it. He learned that Trish and Dez never had a blossoming relationship like Ally had always dreamed; seeing each other always brought back memories, memories that were too painful. He learned that Ally went to get a degree in teaching.

And he learned that Team Austin all drifted away from each other. Trish moved to Texas, where warm weather and sunny skies helped her move on. Dez traveled upwards to Canada, where frost-covered trees and wild moose helped him find a nice girl.

And Ally. She stayed in Miami, stuck in the past and a little disillusioned. That is, until a boy with shining green eyes and floppy auburn hair pushed and pushed her until she couldn't stop falling.

_Distance, timing, breakdown, fighting_  
_Silence, this train runs off its tracks_

He still remembers the night before he left for that god-awful world tour that tore them all apart. Ally had broken down and yelled at him. Defensive, he yelled back, and soon she was out the door, leaving only silence in her wake.

Until the next day, when she went to give him that locket. The look in her eyes spoke volumes, as he now realizes. She was done with him and had moved on, in a single night.

He's never been the same since he figured that out.

_Kiss me, try to fix it, could you just try to listen?_  
_Hang up, give up, for the life of us we can't get back_

It's at his sixth Grammy awards show that he suddenly grows tired of it all. Of course, he'd always hated a lot of things about the superstardom, but he'd never been so... _angry_ about it before.

So he leaves the show abruptly and goes out to a seedy bar in downtown LA, trying to drink enough to get back to happy days with his friends.

Paparazzi follow him, of course, and in a drunken stupor, he spills his heart out to them.

The next day, tabloids blare loud titles about him, and he stays in bed.

However, some bodyguard of his that is more caring than most tells him about what's happened to his friends.

Trish, her husband, and their happy family of four children are suddenly woken up in the middle of the night to reporters pounding on their door. Horrified and confused, they could only stammer confusedly at the reporters.

Dez and his girlfriend are having coffee when cameras flash at them, and anger flares up in the ginger. Why couldn't Austin just leave them all alone?

It's the worst for Ally.

It's the day of her wedding with her redheaded fiance when the reporters find her and crash her wedding. They hit her with a barrage of questions and words, and overwhelmed, she runs off, sobbing.

Austin lies still in bed, stunned. His bodyguard leaves quietly, closing the door behind him. Austin knows he holds no sympathy for him; this is all his fault, anyway. Still, the bodyguard was good to tell him the truth, and Austin writes him into his will. Actually, no: Austin starts _writing_ his will.

_A beautiful magic love there_  
_What a sad beautiful tragic, beautiful tragic, beautiful_

_Austin Moon. 1996-2022._

That's all it says on his tombstone, a few weeks later. It doesn't mention anything about his fame, or his suicide, and that's how his parents wanted it to be.

For once, all of Team Austin is gathered in the same place. Trish holds hands with her husband, her shoulders shaking slightly. Dez's face is stony cold, and his shoulders are clenched, posture tensed. His girlfriend stands next to him, head bowed in respect.

Ally's expression can only be described as serene. "You may have pulled the trigger, Austin Moon, but we lost you long before that," she says quietly. "I love you. I always have. I hope that wherever you are now, you're back to the same boy I knew when I was 16." Sighing, she tries to continues on, looking to her fiance for support. He nods stoically, and she starts again, tilting her head up to the sky. "I moved on. We all did. But today, the sun is shining, and I believe you're in a better place. Goodbye, Austin Moon."

And then she leaves. Dez and Trish and their entourages slowly trickle out behind her. Her fiance takes her hand, and they walk away. Dez and his girlfriend call a cab to take them to the airport, and Trish and her family pile into the van, ready for a long journey home.

_What we had ‒ a beautiful magic love affair_  
_What a sad beautiful tragic love affair_

A year later, Dez and his girlfriend are married. Trish and her family have moved into a bigger house. Ally and her fiance got married six months earlier. This time, it went smoothly.

And on the date Austin died, they all gather again. It's a dreary day, and leaves crunch softly under their feet. Solemnly, they nod to his grave, then walk away.

Ally lingers for a little bit, staring hard at the tombstone. Taking up a pocketknife she had brought along for this very moment, she carves and carves, trying to get the words etched into stone.

When she's done, the sun shines down on his grave through some crack in the clouds, and Ally smiles, leaving once and for all.

_Austin Moon. 1996-2022._ And newly carved in, _Always shine bright._

_We had a beautiful magic love there_  
_What a sad beautiful tragic love affair_

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**In loving memory of my great-aunt.**_  
_

**You were always halfway around the world, and I didn't get to know you very well, but I wish I did.**

**Rest in peace.**


End file.
